Taking aim at pop culture.


Better Late Than Never...Movies Opening This Weekend

Don't bother rushing to the box office this weekend expecting anything new even worth the economy price of admission. Below are this week's cinematic gems that won't be receiving any shiny bald man statues or delivering any crybaby acceptance speeches anytime soon.

"Date Movie" (PG-13) - In the grand tradition of the "Scary Movie" franchise (2001-2006) and "Not Another Teen Movie" (2001) comes "Date Movie," a cinematic stab at all those warm and fuzzy Hugh Grant movies my girlfriend can't get enough of. This movie has received reviews that would make "Gigli" look like "Million Dollar Baby," and I question whether it can even rise to the higher standard of its predecessors. The reason "Scary Movie" and "Not Another Teen Movie" were good is because they really targeted some genres that were distinctly defined and crammed full of cliches. "Date Movie" appears scattered on the surface, poking fun at "Meet the Fockers," "The Wedding Planner" and "Bridget Jones' Diary." I guess I should stop making assumptions and just see it for myself, but this b-movie wonder gets my weekly "Warning: Wait for Video" distinction. However, I definitely recommend that you check out the trailer...it's good for a few LOL's.

Also released this weekend:

"Eight Below" - Paul Walker, apparently still on fire after the incredible success of "She's All That" and "Meet The Deedles," tries to engage his teen-and-under fan base once again in this adventurous tale that proves once and for all that it is possible to maintain a tan in Antarctica. Not exactly my cup of tea, but if you have to watch something with the parents and they are still traumatized after that time you rented "Unfaithful," this might be your best option. Good reviews as well...

"Freedomland" (BEST BET) - Ambiguously casted black cop? Check. Ambiguously casted white chick in distress? Abandoned children's asylem? Check. Creepy children spouting one-liners specially crafted for the preview? Check. Sounds like "Freedomland" has all the makings of a calculated Hollywood thriller, but on the surface I speculate that it will turn out to be "Along Came A Spider" (2001) meets "Don't Say A Word" (2001) with a dash of "Crash" (2005), just with none of the pieces of those films that actually made them good.


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